How to Deal with Overwhelm
Building Capacity & Pressure Relief
A Guide When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed
We have all been operating with our plates full, and many times over flowing. Omicron and its impact has thrown us yet another curve ball, and for some of us, it has thrown a grenade. It has become harder and harder to do… well anything.
Your plate is full, beyond full…
No room for anything else, but we can build our capacity (in this analogy, have a bigger plate or more energy to handle more) and we can REMOVE THINGS to have a manageable mental load.
Here is your step by step guide to ease stress, and start getting you out of survival mode even when things are still changing and uncertain. Now, there are a lot of steps here but even if you can choose 1, 5, or all of them, you will see a difference. These won’t fix everything, but consider them like small pressure relief valves.
8 Steps
When you feel overwhelmed or feel like you are starting to drown, get into a comfortable chair, take a deep breath, and practice box breathing for 1 minute. Then think through these next steps. Not sure the answers? Ask someone to help.
1 Say No
Seems simple enough but if you have an ounce of people pleasing in your nature and autopilot is set to say yes, then it can be challenging. Here is a quick How to say no without burning bridges, to have easy access and direct sentences to copy paste. This is a way to protect your time, energy and effort for what are priorities for your work and non work.
2 Negative Consumption
We often think of our consumption as our diet. What about what we see and hear? This has more impact than you may think. We are fighting against algorithms to keep our attention longer and that present us with the biassed picture of what we already believe or what they think you will click.
Have you been seeing your iPhone screen time app slowly increase over the pandemic? It is time to take back control! Consciously curate your news feed, and monitor the negative news you read/see. This can even go to who you spend time with.
Ways to monitor this:
Media is often overly negative because this is what gets clicks. As you can imagine this can have an incredibly negative impact on our outlook. While we need to know what is happening in the world, put boundaries around it. Ten minutes at the beginning of the day, ten minutes at the end.
Social Media, if we speak in general terms, is overloading us. More and more people scrolling for hours, and mostly before bed. While this can be mind numbing we crave, according to research we tend to feel worse after than before. Can you limit your time on these sites? Maybe 20 minutes a day or whatever suits you or delete/block them on different devices. Remember these companies get paid for your attention. Take back the control and make sure they serve you.
Screen time if you have an iPhone or Android, you will get those lovely messages telling you how much screen time you have. You can use the start to monitor or control the amount of time you spend on your screen or any specific app (iPhone, Android or apps).
3 Delegate, Pause, or Get Help
Take inventory of your ‘to do’ lists:
Literally take things off your plate! While I have no doubt you are an independent, self sufficient person, this life, particularly hard times, were never meant to be conquered alone. What can you pause, delegate or ask for help?
Examples:
Pause (it’s not forever, it is for right now)
board membership
committee work
children’s activities
DIY projects
Delegate/Outsource
Cleaning
Dog walking
Household chores
Home/online school
Cooking
Get Help
Not everything can come off your plate completely, or if you are like me, many of the people I have in my life are under the age of 5, they can still assist. Age appropriate tasks: I know a funny example, my son is 5 and while I am cleaning our main floor he runs things up that should be on our top floor. Small, but helpful and entertains him for 10-15 minutes (at this point, I’ll take it!).
House work
Commute or children drop off/pick up
Taxes
ASK for help on the project, move the deadline, cancel the meeting, flexibility with hours etc. The people around you want you performing at your best and care for you first- above everything else. Ask for what you need!
4 Drains and Charges
All behaviours, tasks, environments and people we engage with either drain or charge us (take away energy or add it). Now, this does not mean you like or don’t like the activities.
Example: I absolutely love keynoting. It is one of my favourite parts of my job, but due to the energy, enthusiasm and cortisol spike when I get on stage it is a drain and I need to recover after.
The idea is we need a variety of drains and charges throughout the day. I have started labeling them different colours in my calendar. Charges are blue. No blue in my schedule? I have to reschedule for my productivity, energy, mood and wellbeing.
5 Let it go!
Like Elsa from Frozen we need to LET IT GO!
What expectations or perfectionism can you decrease in the moment? What I mean by this is, for example, I have had to let go of the expectation of in person meetings for the foreseeable future. After 7 recently canceled conferences, I have let that go. I have let go of my expectation of a clean house with 5 people living almost 24/7 in the house and two massive dogs. I was running around like a chicken sans head cleaning up after people until it became too much.
I let the expectations go, made a chore chart, and hired a cleaner.
6 Reframe
Perspective matters. Now, I am not saying to think everything is roses. It isn’t; much of this is terrible. There is no way around it. Can you find something light or positive in it all? Can you get yourself to focus on what is good instead of ruminating on what isn’t?
This has a profound impact on your experience.
Example: I was just stuck in a town, 4 hours from my home, with food poisoning. It was terrible! But it was the reality I was in. So, I got a hotel, and got myself as comfortable as possible. Now, less green, I can be thankful I wasn’t ON the highway when I got sick and appreciate some quiet, resting hours (note: the 2 children under the age of 5).
Hope and humour go a long way (so says the research). Embrace them.
7 Self Reflection
Self reflection is key but often, especially in periods of stress we don’t practice it. And it is exactly that; a practice. Self reflection and solitude is what it can take to truly process emotions, strategize and learn. This can be practiced when you have a wellness day or for me it is not much (but what I can fit in) 5 minutes of journaling at the beginning and end of each day.
For added benefit, add an element of gratitude. This can be challenging sometimes but even searching for something to be grateful for can change your brain and get you out of cynicism.
8 Move
The way our body’s were built and has passed the test of time is when we encounter stress we were supposed to fight or flee. Now, our stressors aren’t saber-tooth tigers, but difficult clients or deadlines. In order to close the stress loop they have created, we need to MOVE. Get up from your chair, run on the spot, go for a walk, have a dance party as needed and if possible, end your day with 10-20 minutes of exercise.
Be creative!
More than anything, please remember you ARE NOT ALONE. Let others help by thinking through how to do the above by helping you lift whatever it is you are carrying or sitting beside you in the dark. Often during stress, we cannot always see the big picture or possibilities. And of course, two heads are better than one! In return, when you can, help someone else. We are in this together.
We may not all be in the same boat, but we are certainly in the same storm.